Dating is a lot like watching previews of a new romantic movie that’s about to come out. The scenes switch swiftly from one intriguing part to another while seductive music fills the theater and makes the emotions soar.
You watch extreme close-ups of beautiful people while they pledge their undying love for each other. In one scene they’re on a sun drenched beach frolicking in the surf, while in the next they’re holding hands across the table at a candle lit dinner. Finally, his lips meet hers as they fall into a pillow laden bed while the director fades to black.
When you pay to see the entire movie you discover the relationship is not all love, passion and kisses. The love struck couple wakes up the next morning or soon thereafter to a life of reality that’s not all bronzed bodies, expensive dinners and deep breathless kisses. They usually find they’re not right for each other at all and regret the blind love that led them into this mess.
Be aware that dating is a preview of coming attractions but you have to keep your eyes open to learn what’s to come as the relationship progresses and eventually leads to marriage.
When you’re dating, you put your best foot (and all the rest of you too) forward. You’re both on your best behavior and constantly trying to please the other. If only marriage could continue to be like this. The good news is, sometimes it is.
One of the main differences between marital and dating relationships is marital relationships are supposed to be forever. With a date you can simply say get lost but with a spouse it’s a little more difficult and complicated. So, do your dating homework and enjoy selecting a lifetime partner.
Ask yourself if both share common lifetime goals. Marry someone who wants the same thing in life as you. Marriage is hard enough pulling together, much less going in different directions.
Notice how your date treats other people. Are they nice to their parents as well as waiters and sales clerks? Is your date considerate of your feelings and concerned with giving you pleasure? Hopefully, these things will remain the same whether married or single.
Is your date appreciative of the things he or she has or do they think the world owes them a living? If your date is comfortable with the status quo and you’re a more aggressive goal oriented person, this may cause a conflict when you enter into the marital relationship. Are they seeking growth or are they content to be comfortable and let the world pass them by?
If you can’t trust them and communicate with them while dating, it likely won’t change after marriage. Communicate by sharing your thoughts and dreams and learn if you’re on the same wavelength for the future. Be objective and ask questions. While you’re dating you seek the perfect mate who gives you respect, love and truth. When you’re married you expect it.