Men like to think of themselves as dragon slayers. If a wife is having a big problem with a project, the husband is right there to help. Most men usually bring home the paycheck and enjoy the feeling of being the prime provider. They’ve made sure the home is nice, the family is clothed and food is on the table.
All the necessary things are taken care of and you can relax with a beer and TV remote in your hand. Or, better yet, stop by the men’s club (or local bar) and swap stories with the guys. No need to call the wife. She’s too busy to talk anyway while taking care of the kids and getting dinner ready. Everything is fine and as it should be.
If you’re a husband and this sounds familiar, you might want to take stock of how your marriage is doing. How long have you been in this routine? Is this how it was from day one of your marriage or did you gradually slip into this scenario and it felt so good you didn’t want to change.
Yeah, the wife complained once in a while, but what wife didn’t? You may have been there physically for the little woman but emotionally you were somewhere else. A good marriage requires both partners to be there for each other physically and emotionally.
Maybe it’s time to reinvent your marriage and make it a union with shared happiness and responsibilities. Maybe it’s time to sit down with your wife and ask her if she’s happy and if she’d want you home more. Don’t talk to your wife but talk with her. Communication is a two way conversation with each listening to the other’s points of view.
Commit to making yours a better marriage and it may be the best thing you’ve ever done. The guys don’t even have to know but it may show in your new attitude about life and love. It’s not a sissy thing to do. As a matter of fact, you may feel more macho than you’ve felt in a long time.
Start with remembering those special days. Keeping a list would be wise such as anniversaries and birthdays. Include smaller but sentimental times you’ve shared together that only the two of you would remember. Do something special on that day. At least send a card and a little original poetry would be nice. You might cook her a meal for a change or take her to dinner.
Toast your wife when you sit down to eat. No alcohol necessary. It’s the thought that counts. Tell at least one thing you love about her. A toast doesn’t have to be saved for special occasions either.
Make room for romance in your life with the love of your life. Break up your routine and be more spontaneous. Do something thoughtful for your wife everyday, or at least often.
Compliment her and do it sincerely. Take photos of your times together and surprise her with an album of memories later.
The secret to a happy marriage lies in learning to value your wife’s needs and desires as much as you do your own. She’s the one you picked to share your life with. It’s largely up to you to make it enjoyable and worthwhile.