Maintaining a good relationship takes work and since it’s difficult to have a relationship alone that means it takes work together. Relationship means having an association, a connection and a rapport. If you have an association with your spouse or significant other then to make it desirable you must make a good connection and develop a rapport.
Most relationships start off strong, filled with love and devotion. Sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly, the love and devotion are gone and you’re left bewildered. You rationalize that you did nothing wrong and fail to take any responsibility. Or, you may blame yourself totally and view the situation as hopeless. There are too many obstacles to overcome, too many hurts to heal, so you give up.
Wait! It’s never too late to salvage a relationship if both parties are willing to work together as a team. You’ll want to work together for a rebuilding of your relationship if your love is real. False love crumbles at the first sign of trouble. True love is willing to climb mountains and swim vast oceans for the person you love. Which one describes your relationship?
If you decide your love is real and the relationship is worth saving determine what you expect from each other and where the relationship has been and where it’s heading. Has you situation so far been meaningful with plans for the future or do you live from day to day and pretend you’re on a high school date?
You must recognize the existing problems and get them in the open. Usually, both are to blame for not fulfilling each other’s needs. You might discover you never knew what those needs were because you fail to share. Sharing is bonding. In order to share you must communicate and learn about each other’s feelings and needs. Both of you could be hurting and the other not know.
Neither of you may be to blame. This is why communication and sharing are so important in a relationship. As you disclose your feelings be rational, reasonable and calm. No one wins an argument or a discussion by getting angry.
You are two different people with different views and perspectives. Likely there is no right or wrong here, just differences. Being different doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. The differences could be what brought you together in the first place.
Respect those differences and find common ground. Show an interest in your partner’s interests. Find some time to get involved in their work or their hobbies and experience it together. You may find you like it and want to continue.
Talk about what’s right in addition to what’s wrong. Don’t harbor resentment and guilt over emotional baggage of the past. If your spouse has done something you think you can’t forgive, just know someone will and take right up where you let the good thing go. Forgive and forget. Go slowly and agree to give it time. Some time alone may be in order. Your relationship can be saved unless you give up.