If you want advice on how to save your marriage all you have to do is ask. However, sometimes you don’t like what you hear and some of the suggested alternatives to a troubled marriage seem ridiculous. Some really go against the grain.
But wait, you must admit there are things you should and shouldn’t do if you’re to keep your marriage viable. Of course, you’re advised to say I love you often and do little things that exhibit your love. You also know to communicate and be kind hearted and compassionate.
A harsh word however, can cut deeply and once it’s out there it’s almost impossible to take it back or make it right. A hurt feeling has a way of lingering when caused by someone you love. The old saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me,” may not be true.
If a wife asked if a dress makes her look fat, what would a wise husband say? The wrong thing said whether in private or in public is a sure way to harm a marriage or any relationship.
The list of things not to say is too long to mention them all but a few of the ones to be avoided include: I told you so, you never listen to me, I can’t believe you said that, all you do is watch TV, you’re a failure and your check won’t even cover the bills.
Other harsh words can destroy a person’s self esteem such as, I hate your clothes, you are so dumb, your hair is awful, you don’t understand me or love me, and perhaps the worst of all is, why did I marry you. Hold your tongue and you’ll hold your marriage.
A piece of old advice is never go to bed while angry. This has come under fire at times contending that maybe it’s not so bad to go to bed angry. It gives you time to sleep and clear you mind and view the problem for a fresh perspective the next morning. Or, you could continue to fight naked before retiring. You may have trouble remembering why you were angry.
A new twist on never going to bed angry is for the spouse to tell something they admire about the other or something they are grateful for that happened to them during the day.
This will put you in a better mood and sometimes vanquish the anger. You may not like your spouse all the time but you should love them all the time.
Avoid the romantic rut and never take each other for granted. Compliment more than you criticize. Yes, you can find things to compliment if you search. Never assume your spouse did wrong or made a mistake.
Never compare your marriage or your spouse’s shortcomings especially in front of others. Give each other privacy when needed and share all things including housework and money. Never threaten each other with the “D” word and probably it will never happen.