It’s been noted that one of the main things that leads to divorce is marriage. Ridiculous statement, but true. And, as ridiculous and true as it may be, people will continue to marry and will continue to divorce.
Perhaps, you say to yourself, if we live together before marriage and get to know each other and iron out all our problems, then the marriage will be perfect. According to studies, this is not true. Couples who practice cohabitation before committing to marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t.
But you tell yourself that your parents divorced and you’re from a broken home, so you know the pitfalls to watch for and avoid. You’ve witnessed what happens when two people fall out of love and the arguments that ensue. Since you’ve been there and done that at least from an affected bystander point of view you’re a pseudo expert on the subject of divorce.
Wrong again! Couples who come from broken homes are more likely to get a divorce. Studies show that these people who’ve seen this view divorce as no big deal rather than something they must avoid at all costs. It’s almost as though they’ve had on job training and know exactly the steps to take to end a relationship.
The reason for a dissolved marriage is unique to each. What may cause one relationship to crumble may seem perfectly natural to another. But, it seems the number one cause for divorce is lack of communication.
This could be coupled with a lack of commitment. When there is no talking with each other and no dedication to make the marriage work then there is little or no hope to save a marriage. Lack of communication with a little commitment is one of the easiest causes to avoid. Sit down and just talk with each other and be open to other points of view.
Infidelity is another cause high on the list and one of the most difficult to resolve. If both of you work to care for each other’s needs and build a perfect home life then maybe no one will stray. It would seem so, but it still happens.
The term abuse encompasses so many causes including alcohol, drugs, emotional and even sexual abuse. If either partner is guilty of administering or succumbing to these abuses, it’s likely only professional help will prevent a divorce. Seek help as soon as the problem is observed. It’s not often a person can cure him or her self.
The list for divorce causes is long. Sex and money rank high on the list as well. If you have too little of either of these things it could cause problems. These two things are best discussed before marriage but feelings and needs can change after living together.
We’ve only scratched the surface on typical causes for divorce. Briefly, a few of the others are personality and cultural differences, lack of maturity and different views on children and division of labor, such as who’s supposed to do what around the home.
Marriage is like walking through a minefield – one wrong step and the whole thing blows up. It’s likely the best way to avoid a divorce is to be aware of the main cause and communicate.