Marriage, like most everything you get involved in, should come with a set of rules. How can you be expected to play the game if you don’t know the rules? Marriage is much more important than any game and somehow husbands and wives are thrown on to the playing field and told to play with no experience and no rules.
Most learn by doing and some learn more quickly than others. Some decide they don’t like the game at all and pick up their marbles and go home. Others continue to play the game even though they don’t like it and aren’t having any fun at all. They dutifully roll the dice hoping the right numbers will come up and the game will get better.
Perhaps it would be good if when you picked up your marriage license you also were given a sheet of rules that outlined how to play the game of marriage. It would be required that both parties read and understand the rules together and affix their signatures at the bottom acknowledging they will abide by the aforesaid rules.
All games have goals with instructions on what you need to do to win. The goal of any marriage should be to remain together forever while building a wonderful life for you, your spouse and your family. Family means the two new families and the new one to come. As long as you stay together, problems can be solved and anything is possible to achieve.
Other rules of marriage could include being tolerant. It’s easy to see the good in someone as long as they’re doing what you like; but also strive to be tolerant of the things that annoy you and see them as not character flaws but unique personality traits. Love the flaws as well as the qualities.
Be a space giver. This means not only having separate closets but give each other needed private time. Constantly being with someone you love but are learning to know is not easy. This goes for not only at home but with friends as well. By the way, as far as the space in the closets is concerned, keep yours clean.
Travel together and make memories. It’s hard to find time to take a trip in a busy marriage but do it. A change of scenery does wonders for rekindling the spark that may be fading. And memories can be the glue that keeps you stuck together while other worldly pressures may be pulling you apart.
Don’t argue but compare opinions. Okay, no doubt arguments will arise in any marriage but be considerate of the other’s opinion. If the argument gets heated and the hour is late it may be best to go to bed and sleep on it.
An old saying advises you to never go to bed angry but things usually look better in the morning. Never give an ultimatum unless you want it to be taken. Pay attention to your spouse’s likes and dislikes and arguments will be fewer.
Rules can change but people rarely will. The only person who can change is you. And, the person who changes is often the winner. A happy marriage takes time and you’ve got the rest of your life together.