Before you were married, if you had to choose between a romantic relationship and one that was dull and boring, which one would you choose? One of the reasons you chose your spouse was that he or she was romantic, full of life and passion. A passionate romantic relationship was fun when you were single, so why couldn’t it still be today even though you’re a little older and married.
How would you describe your marriage? Have you kissed lately or held hands? You say you’ve more important things to do and worry about now, such as paying the bills and taking care of the children. Sure, those things are very important but so is making time, quality time, for each other. Many marriages have suffered, even to the point of divorce when it’s only filled with labor and not love.
Rediscover romance and rekindle the spark in your marriage. It can be done even though you’re both older and covered up with obligations at work and home. At first you might feel guilty and selfish by spending time alone just to be together and have fun, but the guilt will fade and you might fall in love all over again. And, when you have to go back to work you do it with a renewed spirit. Your coworkers may ask why you’re smiling for a change.
Begin with focusing on the positive. Remember the old song that went, “You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don’t mess with Mr. In-between.”
Okay, you’re probably not that old – but listen to the message here. Nowadays, they just say think positively and that’s good too. But, make sure you stop seeing the negative side of your spouse and accent the positive qualities. They’re there if you look.
You don’t have to be newlyweds to experience romance and intimacy. Remember what you did when you were dating and do it again. You did sweet, thoughtful things while getting to know each other.
You exchanged gifts, took walks, dined in a romantic restaurant and probably quoted poetry. You may think you know everything about your partner and if that’s so, why aren’t they happy? Why aren’t you happy?
Getting older too often means getting serious…too serious. Act like a kid again. No, not all the time but once in a while do something silly together and laugh. Go to the park and push each other in a swing, jump rope, do a dance that was popular “back then.” You don’t have to do it long, but loosen up and give it a go. Likely you’ll both be laughing before you make it to a bench to sit down and rest.
Back home, give each other a massage. Start with the feet and see where it goes from there. The better you make someone else feel, the better you will feel. Next morning, fix breakfast and serve it in bed. Who knows where that will lead? Before you part for the day, slip a love note in a purse or pocket. You’ll know what to say.
Other things have probably come to mind that you want to try to bring back a little romance to your relationship. Do it! You don’t have to try all things in one day but at least get started and your marriage will be better for it.