Second Marriage Woes and How You Can Overcome Them
As you ended your first marriage, finding another true love and getting married was probably the last thing on your mind. But, time heals most wounds and you feel your broken heart beating again especially when a certain person comes around. You’ve gone through the obligatory mourning period and being alone and experiencing newfound freedom is not as good as purported.
Are you ready for another marriage? Ultimately, you must make that decision but search your inner self first with a lot of probing questions. Review your past performance and be brutally honest. Whose fault was the downfall anyway? What really went wrong? How could I have been a better spouse? Can I prevent these things from happening again?
Don’t rush into another relationship too soon. Enjoy your freedom and take the time to adjust. It’s not easy being along again. The silence can be deafening. Don’t tie yourself down again just because you’re lonely.
Second marriages, much like the first, can be very challenging. Don’t think just because you now have on the job experience that the second time around will be easier. That’s not to say it won’t either but it will take effort.
Know that in a second marriage you’re not just marrying the person but all that person has become and what comes with that person, like baggage. Has your new partner completely severed ties with the former spouse? If children are involved this is doubtful. If you accept your new love you must accept their children. Are you ready to be a stepparent?
Will your new partner come with a boatload of debt and unpaid bills? Finances can be a problem and it’s well to determine from the beginning who will pay for what. You might want to let your bank accounts marry too and avoid separate spending accounts. These sometimes lead to secretive behavior.
A prenuptial agreement may be in order to protect your savings and your children. If you have children and you precede your new spouse in death, your children could be left with nothing if proper legal arrangements haven’t been made. At the very least have a will.
Okay, you’ve made your decision and are ready to take the plunge again; so what do you do now? As in all marriages, communicate. Talk things over. Share your feelings. Don’t try to do things in the new marriage just because it worked in the old one. You are now creating new methods and new memories.
Start a new photo album and store the old one in a closet and out of sight. Don’t give a reason for your new spouse to be jealous. Start new traditions of things you do together such as taking a walk after dinner or going out to your favorite restaurant on a certain night.
Choose things together, decorate together, cook together. Continue to be romantic. Know what each other expects and hold on to a positive attitude and expect the best. A second marriage could be the best years of your life.
