Mistakes are going to be made in every relationship whether it’s while dating, during marriage or friendship. How we handle these mistakes can go a long way in preventing a small misunderstanding from escalating into a full blown argument. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, mistakes happen – but there seems to be certain mistakes that are more common to one gender than the other.
Many of the same mistakes are made by both husband and wife but because of the differing emotional makeup of men and women some are more frequent to one than the other. Studies have revealed that women feel a more emotional connection to the mistake/problem at hand and tend to take it more seriously.
Men on the other hand would rather withdraw and let time heal the misunderstanding. He feels if the problem is ignored it will go away. Perhaps this goes back to the old belief that men are tough and it’s not a manly thing to delve into emotional issues.
Okay, we agree that mistakes are made on both sides of a marriage; but now let’s point a finger at those mistakes more commonly made by women. The first thing a marriage councilor will tell you is that communicating is foremost in maintaining a good relationship. So is timing.
If the husband comes home after a hard day’s work and you immediately hit him with a problem before he’s had time to get comfortable in his castle, you may not get the response you desire. The same goes for television viewing. At least wait for the commercial to spring a problem on him, especially if his favorite team is behind with only a minute left to play.
Sorry ladies, but you’re more likely to criticize than men. When confronting your husband ask yourself if you’re criticizing and giving advice or if you’re genuinely seeking a solution.
Criticizing can turn into nagging and then you’ve really got a problem in getting cooperation from your husband. If you’ve made it clear what you want and what needs to be done, constant nagging is not going to get it done any sooner. Demands are a no-no. Remain sweet, gentle and pleasantly persuasive.
And, it must be said: don’t use sex as a weapon. This could really turn into a dispute and that puts an end to negotiations. A faithful husband will, as he should, come to you for intimacy. If he’s refused because he failed to give in to your demands, he feels hurt and vulnerable. This is a power you have over him he doesn’t like to be reminded of. Besides, many battles have been won in the bedroom.
Don’t demand to know everything he does and where he was every minute he was out of your sight. This only shows your insecurity. Being interested in your husband’s activities is different from being nosey and possessive.
Don’t demand to be part of his every moment. Both of you need time apart to become your own person. Being aware of these mistakes can go a long way toward a pleasant relationship. You’re both different. Accept this and love him anyway.