If you’re involved in a relationship, whether married, dating or living together, you must know that there will be conflict and even fighting. Conflict is okay, fighting can turn to abusive and harmful. End all conflicts before fighting begins for the good of everyone.
When experiencing conflict in a relationship and trying to resolve problems you must decide whether you’re active or passive. Active means you’re taking the bull by the horns and initiate every effort to get the problems to the forefront and work on a solution.
If you’re passive, you’re more likely to take a stand and watch approach. You’re content to observe the situation almost as if it’s happening to someone else. You wait for your partner to take action while taken from one emotional feeling to another.
If you’re experiencing a bad relationship, realize that some are not worth saving if it’s become abusive, unfaithful, or criminal acts are involved. If this is the case, it might be best to admit you made a wrong choice in the relationship and it’s time to get out as soon as possible before further harm is done and more people are hurt.
When considering separation or divorce also consider what’s involved in the breakup. Can you hold up to the emotional trauma of leaving the one you once loved deeply, perhaps still do? Be ready to deal with the feelings of failure and inadequacy once you’re alone. Know the impact it will have on the children, if any, as well on family and even friends.
From a practical point of view you must also take into account the financial ramifications. Depending how long you’ve been in your relationship, you probably have accumulated a great amount of wealth and personal belongings which come attached with many memories. Can you afford to breakup and survive financially, emotionally and physically?
All problems can be solved. You just need to determine the right way to advance. Basically there are three ways to proceed. You can try to solve the problems yourself, seek help from family and friends or enlist professional aid.
By doing it yourself you can fine information and help on line, in books and in seminars and forums at churches and schools. Help from family and friends is probably the least effective as each will have their own subjective point of view which will only lead to your confusion.
It’s difficult for family and friends to be impartial and may encourage you to do the wrong thing because they want to agree with you and be supportive. The use of professionals might be the best bet as they’re trained to mend relationships and are completely unbiased and truthful.
If at all possible, sit down and talk with your partner and try to resolve the issues as a team. If both of you are resolved to mend the relationship you’re twice as likely to succeed. Ask what you both want in the relationship and what you’re willing to do to get it. Communicate about all problems large and small for a lasting relationship.